If last year was one of the worst years of my life, this year definitely has to be one of the best. It wasn’t just chance or good luck, it was an active decision to change my self-talk, change my attitude, and embrace ALL of life’s moments instead of constantly wishing for a future where I believed everything would magically be alright. It wasn’t easy, but I can honestly tell you it was one of the most important things I have ever done. I’m still doing it because it’s a constant journey and some days are better than others. Some days the negative self-image creeps back in, I become angry, and all I can do is lay in bed. But then I make the change. I get out of bed even though it’s the last thing I want to do, I get dressed, and I get out into the world. I’ve learned a lot over the past year and if you’ve been struggling this year, I just wanted to share with you some of the things that completely changed my life. I hope you enjoy!
1. No one else can save you- It makes it so easy to project all of your self-doubt and hope for change on someone else. It takes all of the hard pressure off of you and places the blame on someone else. But trust me, this not only gets you nowhere but it also places a gigantic strain on that relationship. It’s scary to realize that change has to start with yourself, but I promise that it’s a journey that you need. That doesn’t mean pushing people away, believe me, you need a solid support system, but make sure you take the steps to helping yourself first.
2. Give into the lazy days (just make sure it’s not all the time)- On those really bad days when all you can truly do is stay in bed, warm up some hot chocolate, wrap up in some blankets and relax. On those days, it does more harm than good to force yourself out of bed. Take this day to get all of the bad funk out and start tomorrow fresh!
3. Give the love you want to receive without the expectation of receiving it back- I cannot explain the joy of giving love and encouragement without the expectations of receiving the same. Expectations ruin everything and disappointments are part of life. So give love as freely as possible! That means giving it to yourself as well.
4. Therapy isn’t stupid- When I found out that I needed to go to therapy, I literally thought it was the end of the world. The thought of telling all of my thoughts and feelings to a complete stranger who I’m paying to listen sounded like a nightmare. But I sucked it up and I went. And I actually gave it my all. You only get as much out of therapy as you give. So give it a complete chance and I promise it will change things. I realized that there is no shame in admitting that you cannot balance the entire world on your fingertips because no one can. Everyone needs someone sometimes and therapy is truly wonderful if it is something that can benefit your healing journey.
5. Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely- Last year, something changed and before I knew it, being alone was my biggest nightmare. Everyone needs alone time sometimes and it’s a fact of life that you are going to be alone at times. That’s why self-love is so important because if you truly love and respect yourself, being in your own company will be comforting. It will be hard at first, being alone, but it’s one of the most important skills you can learn because you never need to rely on anyone else.
6. Ice cream is totally an unofficial form of medicine- enough said.
7. And finally… Embrace all aspects of love in your life- You don’t need a significant other to embrace the love in your life. Your family, your friends, your pets, etc. So much love surrounds you!! So breathe and embrace the love that you have rather than wishing for something else.
Disclaimer: I am not a health professional, these are just my personal tips for how I helped change my own life and rediscover myself.
I hope you all enjoyed these tips and are able to embrace all of the love and joy around you as 2017 draws to a close. Happy Holidays, everyone!!
“You don’t have to be blooming in order to be growing.”
The Traveling Brunette